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The great entertainer who made this remark about his fellow Americans never heard of a country called Nigeria – because it did not exist then. If a Nigerian comedian wants to use the same line today it will probably be “A Nigerian fool is born every second and some of them invest in the Nigerian Stock Exchange.”
I never intended this year to write about the Nigerian Stock Exchange, NSE. My observations of the NSE, in the previous three years, although proved to be correct, had convinced me that Dr Chris Uwajei, Nigeria’s computer guru, was right when he once said: “If you want to hide anything from the black man, put it in a book. He will never read it.” That statement can now be extended to include “write it in newspapers, or publish it on the internet, with the exception of gossip or political matters.” Nigerians are perhaps the most voracious consumers of Facebook, WhatsAp, YouTube, etc. for the wrong reasons. All the tips published about health, family and children upbringing, banking services, car maintenance, etc. are ignored. But, they know the latest about Davido or Aisha.
In the third week of January 2020 when the shares quoted on the NSE were seemingly heading for the skies, one of the few serious readers of this column called to ask me, “Dele, why the silence on the Capital Market in 2020? Is it because the market is now experiencing a recovery and you can no longer make your usual doomsday predictions?” My answer to him was short: “Wait until March and then call me back to tell me about recovery.” Well, you are reading this in March; and, if you don’t already know that a Tsunami is approaching the NSE, then you must have rocks where brains are supposed to be.
I advised one of my close relatives, who was thrown out of Treasury Bills by the Central Bank of Nigeria, CBN, to forget the Capital Market during the period of national euphoria about a good year. I directed him to go elsewhere. He grumbled but took my advice at first. He called back a week after to ask me if a mistake had not been made. I told him: “Definitely not.” We met on Monday before Ash Wednesday at his request. He jumped out of his car and hugged me enthusiastically. After receiving the first returns on his new investment and comparing with what he would have lost if he went into the NSE, he had made a positive gain of N5.7 million in ninety days only. “What next?” he asked. And the answer remains the same – “stay out.
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